Preventing Sexual Violence: Helping Boys Learn How to See Women

Link to "Seeing a Woman: a Conversation between a Father and a Son"
Link to “Seeing a Woman: a Conversation between a Father and a Son”

In The Conversation You Must Have With Your Son, Carina Kolodny writes:

When you have the “avoid getting raped” conversation with your daughter, it is difficult, as you don’t want to imagine her as a victim. The idea of having the “don’t rape” conversation with your son is more difficult as you don’t ever want to imagine him as a perpetrator.

Do it anyway.

Do it because so many parents have thought they didn’t need to and so many people have suffered because of it.

Do it because you love your son and want him to have a bright future.

Do it because not doing it is irresponsible.

Do it for your daughter or for your nieces or for young women in general because while this particular conversation might be terrifying, the much more terrifying reality is young women continuing to be taught to live in fear of men.

That is really what you’re doing when you have the “don’t get raped” conversation with your daughter. You are telling her to always be suspicious, you are telling her to spend her life looking over her shoulder, you are telling her that any man is a potential predator.

…sexual assault is pervasive despite the conversations many parents have had with their daughters. It seems that the “don’t get raped” angle is not a successful strategy for curbing this pandemic. In fact, it is counter-productive as it perpetuates a culture where men don’t feel the need to take responsibility.Fortunately, you do have the tools to curb these crimes. You can help to protect your daughter and other young women like her.

And you can do it from your living room.

All you have to do is talk to your son.

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